So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize