i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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