I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
