Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
