ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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