If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
