in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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