Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
