bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize