YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
