I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize