New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Green mimosas i think yes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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