Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
She's better-looking with the mask on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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