Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
