it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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