i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
