I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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