So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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