You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
