I'm lost and stupid without you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
