Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
