Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
