This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
