dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
