He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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