We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
