Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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