I wish I could punch you in the face.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
