do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
