the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
