i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
