My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
NoShamevember. You game?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
