i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
