Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
