No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
