My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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