dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
