i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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