My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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