Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
