i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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