Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
