i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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