I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
