At least make sure they are 18
Why
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
