i think my tv is drunk
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i believe in u and ur pee
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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