You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
