So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
