I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize