Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
