Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
