so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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