amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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