On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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